Weekend #1

I feel like someone took my happy meal and threw it down an overpass.

No idea why, but there's just zero motivation to do anything. I mean anything. Most importantly, I've got a list of things that need to happen in the kitchen, that aren't. At least the other day, coming home from work (in daylight, yay!) I was able to stop by the grocery store. But I got realistic with myself. I was starving, didn't have anything prepared, and didn't feel like preparing anything. I left the store with wine and more frozen food than I've purchased in all of 2017, combined.

That's been my life supply for the last few days. I haven't even had the motivation to open the bottle of wine, because that's a commitment to drink it all.

My dog has been extremely patient with me, all things considered. He's been pretty much house-bound since Wednesday. and he has only complained, a little. 

Myself, I'm struggling. It's Saturday, and hopefully over this short little weekend, I'll be able to reset and hit next week with joy and optimism... I've started a chain of events at work, I don't really have a choice except to follow through on them, and that's quite a bit of energy that I'll need to throw into it early next week. So, it's best to conserve, now. Sleep, eat, rest. I could really use a trip or two to the gym, but all will come in due time. First, I just pulled out two pretty looking cakes from the oven. Butter pecan for mi momdre... Happy Birthday, mama!

I'm alive, I'm healthy, I'm overall in a stable situation, I just need to get out of whatever this quicksand is that keeps trying to pull me back down into it. It hit me hard all of yesterday and last night. I was awake, laying in bed until just about 2am. I woke up this morning to a darkened room. Not just from my blackout curtains, but it's overcast out--supposed to rain most of the afternoon. I got up at just about 09:40 and while I'm excited it's still before noon, I'm curious to see what this means for my sleep schedule, moving forward. It's only Weekend #1 since moving to my new schedule, so maybe I just need to give myself more time. I don't think its too hard of a point to argue that 5 days is not enough time to fix the world's problems, but man, it would be nice if it didn't have to hit me like a banshee school bus.

Regardless, I just need to keep telling myself to stay positive. There are quite a few things in the works now, that could lead to some serious life changes, ahead. For now, I need to pack up these cakes, do a quick flow, and go spend some lovin' time with my family.